Black Clouds and Sunflowers

I'm home. Well... how do you define "home" anyway? I feel like I've outgrown this place, and even the house I grew up in no longer says much about who I am these days. For one, I have got to get rid of the orange and purple bedroom. I've changed so much, it's a little bit ridiculous. Instead of pasta, my quick meals look more like eggs and vegetables. Instead of laboring at the thought of running, I'm regularly killing my 2mi loop at a 7 min/mi pace. Rather than floundering for a social life, time spent reading or otherwise alone is relished. And the job? Erm... that looks relatively the same. I was hired back at the rock gym the other day. So what's the problem? Well, there's no problem per se, all of my basic needs are being met and my family is here for me. I guess there's just a weird little resistance to coming back, and I'm having trouble putting my finger on what it is. At first, it sounded great to come back, take things a li...

Well... it's definitely been a while. I prefer writing about the nice things, the fun things, the things that will make readers smile and feel good. My lack of posting is due to a lack of these things. Alas, when you try to bury and forget the unhappy things in life, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to analyze and learn from them. And really, that's part of learning how to be you. My job was taken away from me, and replaced with half as much work, half as much money, and a whole lot of stamping on my pride. All of it without warning. I certainly spent plenty of time feeling sorry for myself, unable to understand why it happened and not knowing what to do next. Wallowing felt like the appropriate thing for a while. But even that gets tiresome, and I felt compelled to pick myself up, look the weak spots in the eye, and get the heck on with my life lessons. Although I exude confidence in the face of change and newness, I start to buckle when people learn that I'm ...

Does this happen to anyone else? Just when you think you've gotten a handle on who you are as person, you learn something new. Or something at least suddenly becomes clear to you, more like an epiphany about something that has evolved over time. This is literally a constant, cyclic occurrence. I could be under the impression that I've figured out how I think/feel/act about a certain area of my life, and then suddenly, I realize the reality is different from my perception. Possibly better, possibly worse. Specifically, I've been thinking a lot about my career life. My boss handed me a book called "Good to Great" by Jim Collins, a case study of several different companies that made huge breakthroughs and had sustained profitability. Jim went into the project looking for the reasons that these companies had such marked results compared to others. One of the chapters is about being able to confront the brutal facts, knowing what your company will be the best at ...

Oh gosh. New things. All over the place. Again. My job is now full-time. My social life has grown. And I've become aware of several habits that I am trying to break. (Sugar withdrawal ain't no laughing matter.) A lot's been going here in the Boulder Bubble, not the least of which is being surrounded by wildfire outbreaks, mostly due to lightning storms. We finally had lots of rain last weekend, which may put a damper on climbing trips, but I'll take it if it means my state won't burn to the ground. Two months in RI during the winter felt like I was living an alternate life; I already know how to exist quite comfortably there, what with friends, family, and old jobs to go back to. One of my co-workers in Boulder asked me how my trip was, and I told him it was like leading a double life. I put Boulder life on pause, unpause RI life when I get there, and do the reverse on the way back. It literally feels like no time has passed, more often than not. The only diff...

Why do the best ideas always occur to me in the shower? Last summer when I lived in Providence, my entire dance lesson plan knocked me upside the head at the same time that the shampoo was working its magic. I've had countless choreography ideas do the same. Yesterday, as I was getting ready to go to brunch with Alicia, I contemplated my climbing of late. I've taken to working hard on some bouldering, mostly because it's so low-maintenance... throw on some shoes, chalk up, and Ta-Da! I can work a problem. I have also been in contact with the director of Ascendance, seeing as she moved her company to Boulder. (GO FIGURE. Boulder has made my life literally fall into place.) Out of nowhere, the common denominator in everything I love to do appeared: they all involve movement, strength, and intelligence. -Dancing -Climbing -Hooping -Acro -Yoga Any time I am pursuing any of these activities, I get lost in them. They provide an inexplicable escape but have a clear f...

Where do I begin? Grab a cup of tea and your reading glasses, this is nothing short of a novel. My place of employment hosted the IFSC Lead World Cup in October, and my, oh my... I was either yelling, swooning, or basically going crazy at any given point throughout the whole weekend. Yelling for my friends who were competing (and the rest of the athletes who were nice to me). Swooning because, well... have you seen climbing muscles in person? No? I recommend the pictures from the Denver Post . Such a good time, hopefully more good times to follow! November saw a visit from my parents, which turned out to induce feelings of wanting to live in Boulder for them. Which is perfectly fine, as long as I no longer live here. But since I'll be sticking around... I'd prefer them to wait awhile. I did enjoy showing off my city, which included a visit to the CU ice rink, breakfast at Snooze, and a trip to NCAR (fascinating, really). Not to mention lots of walking. Mid-month, I visit...

Busy. That pretty much sums it up. The new job is turning out to be a few hours more per week. I might be underestimating the use of the word "few". It's not bad, but it's quickly becoming my life, so I have to make a concerted effort to do things that are not climbing-gym-related. Which is tricky because I want to climb more - not having the gear is well, sort of compromising, and therefore gym climbing is my only option. It helps that it's free too. Meh, I have faith that sooner or later, someone will be able to help me shake my climbing up a bit. Until then... lead climbing, here I come...   As far as dancing goes, C3 is not rehearsing until December. What to do with my free time? Ice skate, of course! I started lessons with them two weekends ago, and am super excited about it. It's surprising how much technique I actually did retain from lessons at... eight years old? Geez. So yay for new things that mesh with dance! Let's get the hip flexors in...