Turkey, Thoughts, and TVA
The turkey has been carved and eaten, and the year is winding down. After holiday gatherings, I find my thoughts wandering to things that have happened since last year's festivities.
During 2018, I have made a project out of myself. (I'm pretty much always doing that, but this year had extra intention.) In January, I wrote about my word of the year being "core". I was determined to know my own core, mostly so I could figure out how to move around in this lifetime to the tune of universal flow. All the opinions, values, perspectives, all the habits and all the programming, had to come out into the open so I could peer beneath them and see what was at the heart of it all.
At first I thought that I would be spending a lot of time by myself. And the universe said, "Gurl, how you expectin' to grow ya mind if ya only ever in ya mind?!" Fo' real!!
I enrolled in a mondo self-care regimen to go along with this undertaking: I started therapy, regularly received acupuncture and massage, began a meditation practice, reframed my nutrition program, got reattuned with Reiki, and most importantly, made myself exercise. I worked with a lot of wonderful practitioners and therapists, and received valuable insight from all of them. I also finally allowed myself to get over the fear of cultivating deep, meaningful relationships with others. But the most challenging, most necessary, most effective tool out of everything has been relearning to move.
In early May, four people walked into my life who have quite literally reshaped the way I see my world. I met this group of personal trainers at an anatomy workshop, and they immediately felt like family. Fast forward a few weeks, and we arranged a weekly training/massage trade. At this point, I was thinking, "oh cool, I'll get strong again!" HA. As it turns out, I was cosmically handed an opportunity to work through all sorts of trauma and emotional garbage. None of us could have predicted it would happen, but it seems we've all been put on this journey to learn about how bodies can physically hold on to anything and everything. I am grateful beyond words for these amazing humans who allow me a safe space to do this work.
So it's turned out that movement is unequivocally essential to my existence. (I would argue that it's important for everyone, but I can only speak from my own experience.) There was (and still is) so much crap stuck in areas that had scar tissue, that were weak, that were overdeveloped. By relearning to move efficiently, I have indeed dug up much of what I was hoping to excavate. Many things I don't like about myself, or beat myself up for, or even punish myself for, came up in order to be loved up and reconciled. It's been like physical alchemy. And all of it has firmly set me on a path that feels like a more pure expression of the soul that inhabits this body. Sooo... mission is getting accomplished.
Midway through editing this post, I was recounting some of the exercises I've been working on. I suddenly heard Tim in my head, loudly saying "TVA! TVA!" as he does when I need the reminder to activate it during an exercise. The transverse abdominis is one of the most important deep core muscles of the body. How's that for a solid 2018 theme?
I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. -Dalai Lama
During 2018, I have made a project out of myself. (I'm pretty much always doing that, but this year had extra intention.) In January, I wrote about my word of the year being "core". I was determined to know my own core, mostly so I could figure out how to move around in this lifetime to the tune of universal flow. All the opinions, values, perspectives, all the habits and all the programming, had to come out into the open so I could peer beneath them and see what was at the heart of it all.
At first I thought that I would be spending a lot of time by myself. And the universe said, "Gurl, how you expectin' to grow ya mind if ya only ever in ya mind?!" Fo' real!!
I enrolled in a mondo self-care regimen to go along with this undertaking: I started therapy, regularly received acupuncture and massage, began a meditation practice, reframed my nutrition program, got reattuned with Reiki, and most importantly, made myself exercise. I worked with a lot of wonderful practitioners and therapists, and received valuable insight from all of them. I also finally allowed myself to get over the fear of cultivating deep, meaningful relationships with others. But the most challenging, most necessary, most effective tool out of everything has been relearning to move.
In early May, four people walked into my life who have quite literally reshaped the way I see my world. I met this group of personal trainers at an anatomy workshop, and they immediately felt like family. Fast forward a few weeks, and we arranged a weekly training/massage trade. At this point, I was thinking, "oh cool, I'll get strong again!" HA. As it turns out, I was cosmically handed an opportunity to work through all sorts of trauma and emotional garbage. None of us could have predicted it would happen, but it seems we've all been put on this journey to learn about how bodies can physically hold on to anything and everything. I am grateful beyond words for these amazing humans who allow me a safe space to do this work.
So it's turned out that movement is unequivocally essential to my existence. (I would argue that it's important for everyone, but I can only speak from my own experience.) There was (and still is) so much crap stuck in areas that had scar tissue, that were weak, that were overdeveloped. By relearning to move efficiently, I have indeed dug up much of what I was hoping to excavate. Many things I don't like about myself, or beat myself up for, or even punish myself for, came up in order to be loved up and reconciled. It's been like physical alchemy. And all of it has firmly set me on a path that feels like a more pure expression of the soul that inhabits this body. Sooo... mission is getting accomplished.
Midway through editing this post, I was recounting some of the exercises I've been working on. I suddenly heard Tim in my head, loudly saying "TVA! TVA!" as he does when I need the reminder to activate it during an exercise. The transverse abdominis is one of the most important deep core muscles of the body. How's that for a solid 2018 theme?
I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. -Dalai Lama
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