The Core Of It All
I did a glorious workshop last week, led by a new friend that 2017 bestowed upon me. Carole Ann is a leadership counselor and life coach (find her at PenneyLeadership.com), and has been a wonderful person to bond with as we waded through some super shit this past year. She holds an annual workshop about finding your word of the year, something you can keep with you to guide your way and remind yourself of goals you might have. I liked the idea of it, so I went, drank tea, conversed with fabulous women, and took home some worksheets and reminders.
While many of the women had found their word for 2018 that night, mine took a whole freakin' week to settle in.
Core.
I debated about "commitment", "center", "anchor", but feel much more at peace with "core". Core has no anxiety attached to it like "commitment" does. "Center" felt too ambiguous after a while, the word is associated with so much. "Anchor" was a nice way to rationalize that I could still be grounded but not totally boxed in. But I needed something that spoke of an inherent quality, something that might not always grab your attention but is always present. In trying to find my own inner light the past few years, "core" just seemed to fit the bill.
So now it's going public, I'm holding myself accountable.
The core of something is it's inner being, it's innate quality. There is no doing, it just is. It can't be molded by external factors; if anything, it does the molding, even if it's slowly over a long period of time. The core of the Earth is mostly a ball of really-freaking-hot metal, providing the outer magnetic field. Even though it would take a magnificent event to change the actual core of the Earth, it interacts with external factors to navigate the planet through space and shield it from things like solar wind. Basically, the core is responsible for protecting the crust, and I really dig the analogy to the human soul.
Call it aura, call it energy, call it whatever you want, but humans also emit a measurable field from their bodies. Personally, I am drawn to the idea that the field is our first method of contact with external factors (other people, tangible surroundings, animals, etc.), and the information we exchange with external stimuli is communicated from our soul, our core. I'm not talking about how our minds form language and we can talk to people, or we can reach out and touch things with our hands. I mean some straight up Star Wars Jedi shit, where all it takes is closing your eyes, connecting to your inner self (core) and "reaching out" to feel the external. Slap whatever label you want to on that, but it's this core that I'm interested in.
I've spent too long focusing on thoughts and the five physical senses to carry me around this existence. (Thought is a sense, by the way... if it wasn't, you wouldn't be able to observe your thoughts.) I will inevitably come back to the senses, since I am still in this physical body, but if I can put all those receptors aside, what is this CORE? Who am I, really? Why am I here? What is my purpose? I want to know it, I want to feel the smoldering heat of it, the electricity it generates. Maybe I won't be able to put words to it, but I want the awareness of it.
So 2018 is about experiencing my core. Once I've grasped at least a little of that, I'm sure the rest will unfold in due time.
"You have two homes: Earth and your body. Take care of them." -Author Unknown
While many of the women had found their word for 2018 that night, mine took a whole freakin' week to settle in.
Core.
I debated about "commitment", "center", "anchor", but feel much more at peace with "core". Core has no anxiety attached to it like "commitment" does. "Center" felt too ambiguous after a while, the word is associated with so much. "Anchor" was a nice way to rationalize that I could still be grounded but not totally boxed in. But I needed something that spoke of an inherent quality, something that might not always grab your attention but is always present. In trying to find my own inner light the past few years, "core" just seemed to fit the bill.
So now it's going public, I'm holding myself accountable.
The core of something is it's inner being, it's innate quality. There is no doing, it just is. It can't be molded by external factors; if anything, it does the molding, even if it's slowly over a long period of time. The core of the Earth is mostly a ball of really-freaking-hot metal, providing the outer magnetic field. Even though it would take a magnificent event to change the actual core of the Earth, it interacts with external factors to navigate the planet through space and shield it from things like solar wind. Basically, the core is responsible for protecting the crust, and I really dig the analogy to the human soul.
Call it aura, call it energy, call it whatever you want, but humans also emit a measurable field from their bodies. Personally, I am drawn to the idea that the field is our first method of contact with external factors (other people, tangible surroundings, animals, etc.), and the information we exchange with external stimuli is communicated from our soul, our core. I'm not talking about how our minds form language and we can talk to people, or we can reach out and touch things with our hands. I mean some straight up Star Wars Jedi shit, where all it takes is closing your eyes, connecting to your inner self (core) and "reaching out" to feel the external. Slap whatever label you want to on that, but it's this core that I'm interested in.
I've spent too long focusing on thoughts and the five physical senses to carry me around this existence. (Thought is a sense, by the way... if it wasn't, you wouldn't be able to observe your thoughts.) I will inevitably come back to the senses, since I am still in this physical body, but if I can put all those receptors aside, what is this CORE? Who am I, really? Why am I here? What is my purpose? I want to know it, I want to feel the smoldering heat of it, the electricity it generates. Maybe I won't be able to put words to it, but I want the awareness of it.
So 2018 is about experiencing my core. Once I've grasped at least a little of that, I'm sure the rest will unfold in due time.
"You have two homes: Earth and your body. Take care of them." -Author Unknown
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