Black Clouds and Sunflowers

The turkey has been carved and eaten, and the year is winding down. After holiday gatherings, I find my thoughts wandering to things that have happened since last year's festivities. During 2018, I have made a project out of myself. (I'm pretty much always doing that, but this year had extra intention.) In January, I wrote about my word of the year being "core". I was determined to know my own core, mostly so I could figure out how to move around in this lifetime to the tune of universal flow. All the opinions, values, perspectives, all the habits and all the programming, had to come out into the open so I could peer beneath them and see what was at the heart of it all. At first I thought that I would be spending a lot of time by myself. And the universe said, "Gurl, how you expectin' to grow ya mind if ya only ever in ya mind?!" Fo' real!! I enrolled in a mondo self-care regimen to go along with this undertaking: I started therapy, regularly r

I did a glorious workshop last week, led by a new friend that 2017 bestowed upon me. Carole Ann is a leadership counselor and life coach (find her at PenneyLeadership.com ), and has been a wonderful person to bond with as we waded through some super shit this past year. She holds an annual workshop about finding your word of the year, something you can keep with you to guide your way and remind yourself of goals you might have. I liked the idea of it, so I went, drank tea, conversed with fabulous women, and took home some worksheets and reminders. While many of the women had found their word for 2018 that night, mine took a whole freakin' week to settle in. Core. I debated about "commitment", "center", "anchor", but feel much more at peace with "core". Core has no anxiety attached to it like "commitment" does. "Center" felt too ambiguous after a while, the word is associated with so much. "Anchor" was a nic